Bartender Quotes

Bartender Quotes by Bobby Moynihan, Ernest Hemingway, Rodney Dangerfield, Ludovico Einaudi, Aristophanes, Jon Taffer and many others.

I was a bartender at a Pizzeria Uno's for nine years. T

I was a bartender at a Pizzeria Uno’s for nine years. The people I worked with were amazing, but it was quite possibly the most miserable time of my life.
Bobby Moynihan
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig?” Guy says, “This is a duck.” Bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.”
Rodney Dangerfield
I love to go to the bar close by for a good espresso and have a chat with the bartender.
Ludovico Einaudi
Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to us–not to mention our crockery and our woolens!
Aristophanes
If you have to signal a bartender to get a drink, then they’re not looking at you, which is their problem. They’re not doing their job. So don’t feel rude when you signal a bartender. They’re the ones who caused you to signal them. Go for it.
Jon Taffer
I worked at Starbucks, I was a waiter, a bartender and a valet, sometimes working 2 to 3 jobs at a time while getting a lot of ‘no’s’ as an actor.
Andrea Hall
Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist – whatever.
Les Paul
I’m a bartender’s son. Some things you never forget.
John Stockton
The life of an actor is not filled with limousines and talk-show interviews. I’ve moved crates of beer; I’ve been a bartender, personal assistant, butler. But all those skills have helped me in the business aspect of what I do.
Vincent Rodriguez III
A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.
Ernest Rutherford
If I go
Before I’m old
Oh, brother of mine
Please don’t forget me if I go
Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground.
Dave Matthews
I’m a businessman, not a bartender.
Jon Taffer
I was bartending in Boston five, six nights a week, living in my grandmother’s condo. By the way, I’m a really good bartender – that’s the only skill I can confidently say I have.
Katie Nolan
I’ve never been a waitress, hostess, bartender or any of the typical side jobs you’d expect an actor to have. This is partly because I’ve always been afraid of dropping plates on customer’s heads.
Candace Kita
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
Jack Lemmon
Hell, if I didn’t do stunts, I’d have had to be a bartender, or something else that didn’t pay well.
Hal Needham
John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn’t that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?
David Letterman
My mother taught public school, went to Harvard and then got her master’s there and taught fifth and sixth grade in a public school. My dad had a more working-class lifestyle. He didn’t go to college. He was an auto mechanic and a bartender and a janitor at Harvard.
Ben Affleck
Truth is, I love to play bartender and assist my husband at the BBQ.
Sherry Yard
In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You’ll get quite an evil eye if you don’t leave a tip at the bar.
Zach Braff
Socially, a journalist ranks somewhere between the madam of a whorehouse and a bartender. but spiritually he ranks with Galileo, for he knows the world is round.
Ben Hecht
Sarasota in 1974 was a city of 46,459 people, the 73rd-largest market in the country and sixth-largest in Florida, according to Arbitron Ratings. To supplement my meager salary, I was a bartender at Big Daddy’s on St. Armand’s Circle and a sailing instructor at nearby Lido Beach.
Craig Sager
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Adrian Rogers
I remain faithful to bourbon sour. It’s absolutely delicious. You’d have to ask a bartender what’s in it, but I think if you know you might never have a drink. I also love a little rum, 7 years aged, brown, when it is chilly, before dinner.
Christian Louboutin
After college, I spent a decade working the kinds of jobs that I write about – bartender, shoe salesman, kitchen man – while voraciously reading novels.
George Pelecanos
Anyway, whacking a surly bartender ain’t much of a crime.
Larry McMurtry
My dad was a bartender that worked banquets. So that meant holidays, weekends, nights.
Marco Rubio
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
Al McGuire
I had a bartender friend once tell me about a $14.00 shot of vodka, this was years ago it’s probably more now. I thought that was crazy. From what I understand, vodka has no taste. I think people like the taste of their money.
Ian MacKaye
I toured Ontario in the winter of ’48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender.
Jonathan Frid
I’ve always thought that bartenders and hairstylists would be great interrogators because all day long they have to listen to people talk. They could probably make some fugitive spill the beans.
Joelle Carter
If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.
Richard Kadrey
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde
There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream.
Raymond Chandler
From 1965 to 1974, I served the best possible apprenticeship for an actor. I learned firsthand how a truck driver lives, what a bartender does, how a salesman thinks. I had to make a life inside those jobs, not just pretend.
Brian Dennehy
I feel lucky. I do love it, mostly. At college I had it in my heart that I wanted to be a writer but I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. Then I graduated and became a bartender in Philadelphia, writing during the day. I was the worst bartender in the world.
Lauren Groff
I was a bartender for a long time, so I know how to make drinks, but I’m more likely to offer them than to have them. I think this is one of the reasons why I get to live longer than my great-grandmother did, and why I get to produce more writing than she did, and why my marriage isn’t in dire straits.
Elizabeth Gilbert
To extract the fullest flavor of our drinking house, we needed to spend serious evening time there, slowly coming to know the bartender and the regulars, their joys and sorrows.
Barbara Holland
I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right.
Todd Barry
Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.
James Crumley
I was a bartender, a hot-dog vendor, a cook, sold magazine subscriptions.
John Rzeznik
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin
I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.
Brandon Routh
My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.
Marco Rubio
You know you’re in trouble, when the bartender cries.
Michael Peterson
Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?
Richard Thompson
Anorexia was there for me before I got into modeling, but because of the arena and the demands, the disease really got out of control for me. It’s like being an alcoholic and going and being a bartender.
Carre Otis
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
Mark Twain
People called me a hoodlum and a thug. But they didn’t tell you I was a carpenter, an architect, a stand-up comic – even a bartender. And a barbecue cook. But they didn’t tell you that.
Bobby Seale
By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.
Don Marquis
For a while, I was a flight attendant. I lived in New York, and I was a bartender. I took cooking classes, martial arts classes. I taught a foreign language. I went back to college and studied acting, which I love. I was doing stunt work as well.
Becky Lynch
I’m a bartender. I like recipes. They’re concretes. Was the drink recipe for seduction one shot charm and two shots self-deception, shaken, not stirred?
Karen Marie Moning
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Albert Einstein
I did lie once to get a job as a bartender. I said I had two years’ experience making drinks, when really, I’d never made a drink in my life.
Inbar Lavi
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.
Jim Bishop
I was not a great bartender, but I did OK. I wasn’t great at being efficient behind the bar, but I was pretty great at talking to people. I was a pretty good waiter. It was painstaking to get me to care about the clientele of some of these places I was working at.
Jack Falahee
Lend’s dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. “What’ll you have?” the bartender asks. “We were thinking him,” the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor. Okay, jokes weren’t my strong point.
Kiersten White
I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender there used to call me Boom Boom. I don’t know why, but he did.
John Lee Hooker
A cocktail can be made by the bartender. But the cocktail also can be made by the chef.
Jose Andres