Bartender Quotes

I was a bartender at a Pizzeria Uno’s for nine years. The people I worked with were amazing, but it was quite possibly the most miserable time of my life.

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, “Where’d you get the pig?” Guy says, “This is a duck.” Bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.”

I love to go to the bar close by for a good espresso and have a chat with the bartender.

Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to us–not to mention our crockery and our woolens!

If you have to signal a bartender to get a drink, then they’re not looking at you, which is their problem. They’re not doing their job. So don’t feel rude when you signal a bartender. They’re the ones who caused you to signal them. Go for it.

I worked at Starbucks, I was a waiter, a bartender and a valet, sometimes working 2 to 3 jobs at a time while getting a lot of ‘no’s’ as an actor.

Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist – whatever.

I’m a bartender’s son. Some things you never forget.

The life of an actor is not filled with limousines and talk-show interviews. I’ve moved crates of beer; I’ve been a bartender, personal assistant, butler. But all those skills have helped me in the business aspect of what I do.

A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.

If I go
Before I’m old
Oh, brother of mine
Please don’t forget me if I go
Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground.

I’m a businessman, not a bartender.

I was bartending in Boston five, six nights a week, living in my grandmother’s condo. By the way, I’m a really good bartender – that’s the only skill I can confidently say I have.

I’ve never been a waitress, hostess, bartender or any of the typical side jobs you’d expect an actor to have. This is partly because I’ve always been afraid of dropping plates on customer’s heads.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Hell, if I didn’t do stunts, I’d have had to be a bartender, or something else that didn’t pay well.

John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn’t that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?

My mother taught public school, went to Harvard and then got her master’s there and taught fifth and sixth grade in a public school. My dad had a more working-class lifestyle. He didn’t go to college. He was an auto mechanic and a bartender and a janitor at Harvard.

Truth is, I love to play bartender and assist my husband at the BBQ.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You’ll get quite an evil eye if you don’t leave a tip at the bar.

Socially, a journalist ranks somewhere between the madam of a whorehouse and a bartender. but spiritually he ranks with Galileo, for he knows the world is round.

Sarasota in 1974 was a city of 46,459 people, the 73rd-largest market in the country and sixth-largest in Florida, according to Arbitron Ratings. To supplement my meager salary, I was a bartender at Big Daddy’s on St. Armand’s Circle and a sailing instructor at nearby Lido Beach.

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

I remain faithful to bourbon sour. It’s absolutely delicious. You’d have to ask a bartender what’s in it, but I think if you know you might never have a drink. I also love a little rum, 7 years aged, brown, when it is chilly, before dinner.

After college, I spent a decade working the kinds of jobs that I write about – bartender, shoe salesman, kitchen man – while voraciously reading novels.

Anyway, whacking a surly bartender ain’t much of a crime.

My dad was a bartender that worked banquets. So that meant holidays, weekends, nights.

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.

I had a bartender friend once tell me about a $14.00 shot of vodka, this was years ago it’s probably more now. I thought that was crazy. From what I understand, vodka has no taste. I think people like the taste of their money.

I toured Ontario in the winter of ’48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender.

I’ve always thought that bartenders and hairstylists would be great interrogators because all day long they have to listen to people talk. They could probably make some fugitive spill the beans.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream.

From 1965 to 1974, I served the best possible apprenticeship for an actor. I learned firsthand how a truck driver lives, what a bartender does, how a salesman thinks. I had to make a life inside those jobs, not just pretend.

I feel lucky. I do love it, mostly. At college I had it in my heart that I wanted to be a writer but I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. Then I graduated and became a bartender in Philadelphia, writing during the day. I was the worst bartender in the world.

I was a bartender for a long time, so I know how to make drinks, but I’m more likely to offer them than to have them. I think this is one of the reasons why I get to live longer than my great-grandmother did, and why I get to produce more writing than she did, and why my marriage isn’t in dire straits.

To extract the fullest flavor of our drinking house, we needed to spend serious evening time there, slowly coming to know the bartender and the regulars, their joys and sorrows.

I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right.

Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.

I was a bartender, a hot-dog vendor, a cook, sold magazine subscriptions.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.

My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.

You know you’re in trouble, when the bartender cries.

Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?

Anorexia was there for me before I got into modeling, but because of the arena and the demands, the disease really got out of control for me. It’s like being an alcoholic and going and being a bartender.

Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.

People called me a hoodlum and a thug. But they didn’t tell you I was a carpenter, an architect, a stand-up comic – even a bartender. And a barbecue cook. But they didn’t tell you that.

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.

For a while, I was a flight attendant. I lived in New York, and I was a bartender. I took cooking classes, martial arts classes. I taught a foreign language. I went back to college and studied acting, which I love. I was doing stunt work as well.

I’m a bartender. I like recipes. They’re concretes. Was the drink recipe for seduction one shot charm and two shots self-deception, shaken, not stirred?

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I did lie once to get a job as a bartender. I said I had two years’ experience making drinks, when really, I’d never made a drink in my life.

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.

I was not a great bartender, but I did OK. I wasn’t great at being efficient behind the bar, but I was pretty great at talking to people. I was a pretty good waiter. It was painstaking to get me to care about the clientele of some of these places I was working at.

Lend’s dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. “What’ll you have?” the bartender asks. “We were thinking him,” the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor. Okay, jokes weren’t my strong point.

I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender there used to call me Boom Boom. I don’t know why, but he did.

A cocktail can be made by the bartender. But the cocktail also can be made by the chef.