Dudley Moore Quotes

It seems that a lot of people, who haven’t known of me as a pianist, think I’ve just started off as a comedian. And so for them the piano was something extra. But, of course, playing the piano was something that came before all of what’s happened now.

Volvo — they’re boxy but they’re good.

When I think of Canada I think of tonic water.

I haven’t had that many women – only as many as I could lay my hands on.

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you’re with, but you can leave when you want to.

In the course of an average lifetime anyone growing up in a house with such a clock will hear the tune over a million times.

Jaguar — For men who’d like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

I can hear the music all around me.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.

I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.

Music is the surest way of reaching someone else’s heart.

I’m always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.