Funny Halloween Quotes

Funny Halloween Quotes by Fernando Pessoa, Chris Hemsworth, Emily Dickinson, H. P. Lovecraft, Chris Rock, Dee Snider and many others.

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth but chocolates.

Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth but chocolates.
Fernando Pessoa
I put the costume on and said ‘It’s not very comfortable, but it looks amazing,’ so it’s all good.
Chris Hemsworth
One need not be a chamber to be haunted.
Emily Dickinson
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear.
H. P. Lovecraft
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.
Chris Rock
Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the “spirits” of things.
Dee Snider
I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it.
Katharine McPhee
Being in a band you can wear whatever you want – it’s like an excuse for Halloween everyday.
Gwen Stefani
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, “Never take candy from strangers.” And then they dressed me up and said, “Go beg for it.” I didn’t know what to do. I’d knock on people’s doors and go, “Trick or treat.”
Rita Rudner
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Kurt Vonnegut
One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place.
Emily Dickinson
This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.
Conan O’Brien
Where there is no imagination there is no horror.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!
William Shakespeare
If ever there was a holiday that deserves to be commercialized, it’s Halloween. We haven’t taken it away from kids. We’ve just expanded it so that the kid in adults can enjoy it, too.
Cassandra Peterson
Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight, Make me a child again just for to-night!
Elizabeth Chase Allen
Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.
River Phoenix
As spirits roam the neighborhoods at night, Let loose upon the Earth till it be light.
Nick Gordon
Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.
Richard Harris Barham
I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
Henry David Thoreau
Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.
Steve Almond
If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.
Douglas Coupland
You wouldn’t believe On All Hallow Eve What lots of fun we can make, With apples to bob, And nuts on the hob, And a ring-and-thimble cake.
Carolyn Wells
There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.
Robert Breault
‘Tis the night – the night Of the grave’s delight.
Arthur Cleveland Coxe
A gypsy fire is on the hearth, Sign of the carnival of mirth; Through the dun fields and from the glade Flash merry folk in masquerade, For this is Hallowe’en!
Jerry Smith
Hobgoblins know the proper way to dance: Arms akimbo, loopy legs askew, Leaping into darkness with delight, Lusting for the ecstasy of fright, Open to the charm of horrors new.
Nick Gordon
After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.
Emily Luchetti
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
All are on their rounds tonight;
In the wan moon’s silver ray,
Thrives their helter-skelter play.
Joel Benton
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Mark Twain
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown
H. P. Lovecraft
I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Charles S. Swartz
Of calling shapes, and beck’ning shadows dire,
And airy tongues that syllable men’s names.
John Milton
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright, Of soft and golden hue, Pierce through the future’s veil and show, What fate now holds for you?
Jerry Smith
Tis the night – the night
Of the grave’s delight,
And the warlocks are at their play;
Ye think that without
The wild winds shout,
But no, it is they – it is they.
Arthur Cleveland Coxe
I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, But there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.
Robert Breault
Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve…. And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon.
Elizabeth Kim
Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.
Francis Bacon
A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.
James M. Barrie
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
Edgar Allan Poe
I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?’
Drew Carey
… we in the light sometimes fear what is no more to be feared than the things children in the dark hold in terror and imagine will come true.
On Halloween, witches come true; Wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park.
Nick Gordon
True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld