Halloween Jokes Quotes

Halloween Jokes Quotes by Rita Rudner, William Shakespeare, Arthur Cleveland Coxe, Nick Gordon, Joel Benton, John Kendrick Bangs and many others.

Never take candy from strangers.

Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
William Shakespeare
‘Tis the night – the night Of the grave’s delight.
Arthur Cleveland Coxe
Hobgoblins know the proper way to dance: Arms akimbo, loopy legs askew, Leaping into darkness with delight, Lusting for the ecstasy of fright, Open to the charm of horrors new.
Nick Gordon
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, “Never take candy from strangers.” And then they dressed me up and said, “Go beg for it.” I didn’t know what to do. I’d knock on people’s doors and go, “Trick or treat.”
Rita Rudner
Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
All are on their rounds tonight;
In the wan moon’s silver ray,
Thrives their helter-skelter play.
Joel Benton
Bring forth the raisins and the nuts-
Tonight All-Hallows’ Spectre struts
Along the moonlit way.
John Kendrick Bangs
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Tis the night – the night
Of the grave’s delight,
And the warlocks are at their play;
Ye think that without
The wild winds shout,
But no, it is they – it is they.
Arthur Cleveland Coxe
A gypsy fire is on the hearth, Sign of the carnival of mirth; Through the dun fields and from the glade Flash merry folk in masquerade, For this is Hallowe’en!
Jerry Smith
There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people…religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!
Charles M. Schulz
Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.
River Phoenix
I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Charles S. Swartz
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
Erma Bombeck
Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world.
William Shakespeare
Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the “spirits” of things.
Dee Snider
Being in a band you can wear whatever you want – it’s like an excuse for Halloween everyday.
Gwen Stefani