Osama Bin Laden Quotes

Osama Bin Laden Quotes by Jay Leno, John Key, Henry Rollins, Christopher Titus, David Letterman, Angela Merkel and many others.

This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M.

This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she’ll get his money, he’ll be dead in a week.
Jay Leno
Osama Bin Laden was responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, including New Zealanders, in several different parts of the world.
John Key
If the death of Osama Bin Laden brings any peace to those who lost loved ones on that awful day in September 2001, that is a great thing. It is more likely, however, just a painful reminder of what was lost.
Henry Rollins
Osama Bin Laden is dead? Oh my God, that was so easy! And it only took two trillion dollars, two wars and too many good men.
Christopher Titus
There’s already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.
David Letterman
This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, ‘May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?’
David Letterman
Supporters of Osama bin Laden want to rename the Arabian Sea after bin Laden’s death. They want to call it “Martyr’s Sea.” Please, hiding in your bedroom for six years with the blinds closed? How about “Chicken of the Sea?
Jay Leno
The US military has achieved a decisive blow against al-Qaeda with its commando action against Osama Bin Laden and his killing.
Angela Merkel
I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It’s 71 Virginians, you asshole!
Robin Williams
The death of Osama bin Laden marks the most significant development in our fight against al-Qa’ida. I salute President Obama … in achieving this major accomplishment. … The death of Osama bin Laden is historic.
Nancy Pelosi
Since the end of the Cold War, Soviet aggression had been replaced by a number of particularly venomous threats, from Timothy McVeigh to Osama bin Laden.
Barbara Olson
Postal will be so politically incorrect and harsh, it’s like a mirror to American society, and I don’t think the movie will be well received by everybody. For example, Osama Bin Laden will be one of the lead characters – I think that shows the mood of the movie.
Uwe Boll
Uhh Gosh, I.. don’t think I ever said I’m not worried about Osama bin Laden. It’s kind of one of those, uhh, exaggerations.
George W. Bush
This body, the United States Congress, was united, Republicans and Democrats alike, in taking that action, toppling the Taliban government, and working to try and root out al Qaeda and find Osama bin Laden.
Chris Van Hollen
There will always be spies. We have to have them. Without them we wouldn’t have got Osama bin Laden – it took us years, but it happened.
Gary Oldman
[Alan] Dershowitz has also offered to defend Osama bin Laden in court, saying it would be an act of high patriotism. It’s kind of too bad there isn’t going to be a trial. Having Dershowitz defend him could be Osama’s only shot at not being the least popular person in the courtroom.
Ann Coulter
At the end of the day, Osama bin Laden’s interest is not Washington and New York, it’s the Middle East. He wants Saudi Arabia. He wants to get rid of the House of Saud. There’s a great deal of resentment, even inside the royal family, at the continued military presence of the United States there.
Robert Fisk
I think it was fully justified after 9/11 to initiate a military action against Afghanistan, because we hoped to create a democracy, and have a flourishing economy, and to do away with al-Qaida, and to capture Osama bin Laden.
Jimmy Carter
How many have seen that Osama bin Laden footage? Pretty scary. In fact, today, NBC ordered 13 more episodes.
Jay Leno
There’s a new Osama bin Laden video. He’s the only person that is looking thin during the holidays. How does he do it? I think he’s going to Jenny Craig.
Jay Leno
God told me to smite Osama bin Laden, so I invaded Afghanistan. Then He told me to smite Saddam Hussein, so I invaded Iraq. Now He wants me to work on the Middle East problem.
George W. Bush
A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they’re now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.
Jay Leno
Be afraid of the Chinese. I mean, the Chinese shoot down satellites in space; they hack into Google’s computers; the Osama bin Laden people can’t make their underwear blow up.
Francis Fukuyama
People who believe they are acting with the mandate of God, who see others who don’t share their beliefs as inferior in the eyes of God, make dangerous leaders. Just ask Osama Bin Laden.
Ron Reagan
To rid the world of Osama bin Laden, Anwar al-Awlaki and Moammar Qaddafi within six months: if Obama were a Republican, he’d be on Mount Rushmore by now.
Andrew Sullivan
What makes me angry’is that it wasn’t me who revealed that I had been with Osama Bin Laden. I originally denied being involved with Osama when the London Guardian threatened to ‘out’ me.
Kola Boof
Let’s deal with reality. The reality is that we will be reading Miranda rights to the corpse of Osama bin Laden. He will never appear in an American courtroom.
Eric Holder
We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.
Donald Rumsfeld
I think it was Osama bin Laden’s [idea to start a pre-emptive war in Iraq].
Karl Rove
I never wanted anyone to know about me and Osama [Bin Laden]. I wanted that to be a secret that I carried to my grave, and since I wasn’t the one who revealed it’it’s definitely something that I wish was in the closet. It’s destroyed my career.
Kola Boof
Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.
David Letterman
The U.S. continues the search for Osama bin Laden. Reports suggest that bin Laden is most likely hiding out somewhere remote and barren, where he will not encounter others. The FBI has begun searching theaters showing the movie ‘Glitter.’
Jimmy Fallon
If we have Osama bin Laden in our sights and the Pakistani government is unable or unwilling to take them out, then, I think that we have to act and we will take them out. We will kill bin Laden. We will crush al Qaeda. That has to be our biggest national security priority.
Barack Obama
Osama bin Laden… lived in one house for, like, six years with three wives. And earlier today, they ruled his death was a suicide.
David Letterman
Punishing abuse in Iraq should not return the U.S. to Sept. 10, 2001, in the way it fights al Qaeda, while Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants remain at large and continue to plan attacks.
John Yoo
In 1995, sanctions led Sudan to cut its ties with terrorists and expel Osama bin Laden.
Tom Allen
This is a global effort we’re going to have to lead to overcome this jihadist effort. It’s more than Osama bin Laden. But he is going to pay, and he will die.
Mitt Romney
According to Richard Clarke, the former White House counterterrorism chief, Bush was so obsessed with Iraq that he failed to take action against Osama Bin Laden despite repeated warnings from his intelligence experts.
Ferdinand Mount
According to the New York Daily News, Geraldo said he is now carrying a gun, and he will personally shoot Osama bin Laden if he finds him. If Osama also has a gun, this could work out okay.
Jay Leno
Why are people so supportive of him [Osama bin Laden] in many countries? Hes been out in these countries for decades building roads, building schools, building infrastructure, building day care facilities, building health care facilities, and the people are extremely grateful.
Patty Murray
We’re learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we’re getting to the root of his intense anger. And they say bin Laden never spends the night in the same place twice. No, wait a minute, that’s Clinton.
David Letterman
Our leaders and Osama Bin Laden all claim to do the right thing in the name of God. I question that. I wonder if that God is worth the life of another human-being.
Meshell Ndegeocello
The guy who finally pulled the trigger on Osama bin Laden is not patting himself on the back. He’s giving as much credit to his teammates who got him to that position.
Howard E. Wasdin
If you don’t understand what al Qaeda was trying to do on 9/11, if you don’t have a sense of who Osama bin Laden is as a person, if you don’t have a sense of what al Qaeda, the organization, was on 9/11, 9/11 appears to be more or less inexplicable.
Peter Bergen
No one should be surprised when Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda detonate a weapon of mass destruction in the United States. I don’t believe in inevitability. But I think it’s pretty close to being inevitable.
Michael Scheuer
Wouldn’t it be great if all of Osama bin Laden’s money was tied up in Enron stock?
Dennis Miller
The Mirror interviewed one of Osama bin Laden’s sons and said bin Laden has 42 children. That’s going to happen when you sleep in a different cave every night.
Jay Leno
George W. Bush is using language that’s a mirror image of the language of Osama bin Laden when he says, “We have God on our side. This is the struggle of good against evil.”
Sam Hamill
Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn’t less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.
Dana Gould
The most striking thing is that even before Osama bin Laden was killed, he seemed largely irrelevant to the Arab Spring.
Paul Wolfowitz
It was Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda who attacked the U.S. on September 11, 2001, not Saddam Hussein and Iraq.
Peter DeFazio
Did you hear this? They say now Osama bin Laden and his buddy Mullah Omar have left Afghanistan dressed as women. They dressed up as women and went across the border into Pakistan. I think they’re going to make a movie about it. They’re going to call it ‘Some like it Jihad.’
David Letterman
All of a sudden you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.
R. Kelly
Let me say what I actually believe. I believe that 9/11 was a conspiracy, by Al Qaeda, and Osama Bin Laden, and nobody else, trying to hurt America.
Van Jones
You want to know whether we’re better off? I’ve got a little bumper sticker for you: Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive. Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive! Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive!
Joe Biden
The implication strongly is that Osama bin Laden is a Hitler, even though he has no state power at all. It’s just grotesque if you seriously think about it.
Tariq Ali
The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden’s financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn’t sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me.
Jay Leno
Osama bin Laden, who is a Saudi, feels himself to be a patriot because the U.S. has forces in Saudi Arabia, which is sacred because it is the land of the prophet Mohammed.
Edward Said
His [Osama bin Laden]excessive use of terror, including numerous attacks that indiscriminately killed many women and children, and of course many Muslims, has hurt the attractiveness of his message.
Joseph Nye
With every story that TV covers, somebody – some corporation, some shareholders – are making money. That’s true whether covering Libya, Iraq, the tsunami in Japan, Osama bin Laden, whatever story there is. That day, the shareholders are making money off it. Every newspaper that’s sold, somebody’s making a dime.
Nancy Grace
The leaders of the empire, the imperial mafia-George W. Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, Richard Cheney, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, et al. … are as fanatic and as fundamentalist as Osama bin Laden.
William Blum
Osama bin Laden, the Saudi-born revolutionary who is believed by most Arab and Iranian observers to be the inspiration of the attacks in New York and Washington, is the best known of the Islamic militants to have emerged in the past 20 years and the least difficult to fathom.
James Buchan
Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that’s now all over. … He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through ‘Jihab’
David Letterman
I will follow Osama bin Laden to the gates of hell.
John McCain
Osama bin Laden is going after us to get us out of the region, so he can deal with the regimes that he sees in the region, or replace them with purists.
Brent Scowcroft
Osama Bin Laden is not well read and he’s not sophisticated, but he will have worked out very coldly what America would do in response to this attack 9/11. I’m sure he wanted America to attack Afghanistan. Once you do what your enemy wants, you are walking into a trap, whether you think it’s the right thing to do or not.
Robert Fisk
The White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death photo. Better yet, they’re doing it on a set of limited edition commemorative plates.
Conan O’Brien
There was a striking example of this in Pakistan when the US sent in Special Forces, to be honest, to kill Osama Bin Laden. He could easily have been apprehended and caught but their orders were to kill him.
Noam Chomsky
The illegal drug trade is the financial engine that fuels many terrorist organizations around the world, including Osama bin Laden.
Dennis Hastert
I’m the number 1 target of the White House. They can’t get Osama bin Laden; they’re going to get me.
Jean Carnahan
Why don’t you meet Osama bin Laden, invite him to Brussels or to the White House and engage in talks, ask him what he wants and give it to him so he leaves you in peace?
Vladimir Putin
Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who’s responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children.
Barack Obama
[on Osama bin Laden] He is either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive.
Donald Rumsfeld
There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy’s head who wears Bounty on his head.
Jay Leno
But I will say this: In my humble opinion, knowing nothing about it, I do believe that they have remote viewers working on where Osama Bin Laden is. I absolutely, 100%, convinced of that.
Aaron Eckhart
As president of the United States, my top priority will be to keep America safe. We’re going to go after the terrorist networks. We’re going to go after Osama bin Laden. We are not going to live in fear in this country.
Wesley Clark
Presidents with strong nerves are decisive. They don’t balk at unpopular decisions. They are willing to make people angry. Bush had strong nerves. Clinton, who passed up a chance to eliminate Osama bin Laden, did not. Obama is a people pleaser, a trait not normally associated with nerves of steel.
Fred Barnes
I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don’t care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.
Joan Rivers
In the long term, we’ve got to defeat an ideology of hate with an ideology of hope. There’ a reason why people like [Al-Qaida leader Osama] bin Laden are able to recruit suiciders, because if you don’t have hope, you’re attracted to an ideology which says, it’s OK to kill people and kill yourself.
George W. Bush
Improve human intelligence to get Osama bin Laden.
John McCain
The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn’t that amazing? The guy has made just two videos and he’s already gone Hollywood.
Jay Leno
Osama Bin Laden is not going to come here and destroy America. Our education system is doing that just fine.
Geoffrey Canada
Now there are reports that Osama bin Laden would like to commit suicide on television. This is the kind of lead-in I have been praying for every since I came to CBS. Bin Laden is planning a televised suicide or, as I call it, hosting the Academy Awards.
David Letterman
Clearly the Secretary of Defense, my boss, would like nothing better than to get Osama bin Laden and to get… to ensure the complete defeat of al-Qaida, because we know that al-Qaida is planning operations against the United States even as we speak here.
John Abizaid
The news that Osama Bin Laden is dead will bring great relief to people across the world. Osama Bin Laden was responsible for the worst terrorist atrocities the world has seen – for 9/11 and for so many attacks, which have cost thousands of lives, many of them British.
David Cameron
I’ve got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he’s dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.’
Jeff Dunham
I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Chanukah.
George W. Bush
They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the ’90s, and they’re studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
David Letterman
It is God’s job to forgive Osama Bin Laden. It is our job to arrange a face to face meeting.
Norman Schwarzkopf
Are your kids learning the right lessons about 9/11? Ten years after Osama bin Laden’s henchmen murdered thousands of innocents on American soil, too many children have been spoon-fed the thin gruel of progressive political correctness over the stiff antidote of truth.
Michelle Malkin
In the spirit of the Irish people, Osama bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass!
Mike Moran
In 1995, we had evidence of the brother-in-law of Osama bin Laden being in the Philippines, living in the Philippines. We had evidence of front organizations set up in the Philippines. And we uncovered evidence about, which would help the U.S. with – about the perpetuators of the World Trade Center bombing.
Gloria Macapagal Arroyo
Osama bin Laden, the person, more likely serves the function of a stand-in. Compare the new terrorists with partisans or conventional terrorists in Israel. These people often fight in a decentralized manner in small, autonomous units, too.
Jurgen Habermas
Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There’s no way to win! If Osama dies, you don’t get paid. If you’re found, you get killed.
Jay Leno
Ask Osama bin Laden is he is better off now than he was four years ago.
John F. Kerry
I will now make a scorpion appear in Osama bin Laden’s pants
David Copperfield
Ask Osama bin Laden and the 22-out-of-30 top al-Qaida leaders who’ve been taken off the field whether I engage in appeasement. Or whoever is left out there, ask them about that.
Barack Obama
Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden? We can’t even find Kenneth Lay.
Jay Leno
Osama bin Laden is very shrewd. But he struck me, even in 1997, as being remarkably out of touch. I remember thinking this does not look like the type of guy who walks to the top of a mountain with a mobile phone and says, “Operation B, attack.”Now he is America’s number one enemy. He’s always wanted to be that.
Robert Fisk
It was not lost on Osama bin Laden that it only took 18 dead in Somalia for the Great Satan to pull out. It should not be lost on Americans that this is what the Democrats are again demanding we do in Iraq.
Ann Coulter
If America has the right to target Osama bin Laden, or terrorists, of course Israel has the right to defend itself from terrorism.
Alan Dershowitz
Even if Osama bin Laden is caught tomorrow, it is five years too late. To capture him now I don’t think makes us any safer.
Nancy Pelosi
On a day when Osama bin Laden again threatened the United States and our allies, it is disturbing to realize that John Kerry neither recognizes nor understands the murderous ideology of our enemies and the threat they pose to our nation.
Marc Racicot
Osama bin Laden’s own words stated he has a war against the United States. He declared that American civilians should be considered as combatants.
Cofer Black
Osama bin Laden’s death has been in the news all day. Leftish
stations are going, ‘President Obama saves the world.’ Stations on the right are
going, ‘Obama kills fellow Muslim.’
Craig Ferguson
Saddam Hussein didn’t kill 3,100 people on Sept. 11. Osama bin Laden did, and as far as we know he’s still alive.
William J. Clinton
Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he’s married to five of them.
David Letterman
Pakistan’s ruler Pervez Musharraf predicted the Taliban will fall for hiding Osama bin Laden. Ex-king Zahir Shah is standing by to replace Mullah Mohammed Omar. And the most ominous sign of all, President Bush has learned all their names.
Argus Hamilton
The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
David Letterman
Osama bin Laden is dead, and General Motors is alive.
Joe Biden
I think one of the most destructive things in terms of American security has been for all of our leaders, without exception in both parties, to identify Osama bin Laden as a gangster or as a madman, as an apocalyptic character who’s out to destroy our civilization.
Michael Scheuer
Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan … which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now Geraldo Rivera.
Conan O’Brien
For many Americans, Osama bin Laden is the paradigmatic Muslim, an absurd conviction for anyone who has lived with Muslims.
Miroslav Volf
Funny, for all surveillance, Osama bin Laden is still freeВ—and we’re not. Guess who’s winning the “war on terror?
Cory Doctorow