Quip Quotes

The brain is an island in an osmotically homogeneous sea.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

COLD. Healthier than heat.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters – I’m from an all female family. My father often quips that even the cat was neutered!

DOCTOR. Always preceded by ‘The good’. Among men, in familiar conversation, ‘Oh! balls, doctor!’ Is a wizard when he enjoys your confidence, a jack-ass when you’re no longer on terms. All are materialists: ‘you can’t probe for faith with a scalpel.’

As a matter of fact, I am an uncle. I have nine nephews and nieces. I’m not sure if they think I’m all that quick with a quip. But I’m quick with a spank.

Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee Jest, and youthful Jollity, Quips, and Cranks, and wanton Wiles, Nods, and Becks, and wreathed Smiles, Such as hang on Hebe’s cheek, And love to live in dimple sleek; Sport that wrinkled Care derides, And Laughter holding both his sides.

When someone abuses me I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenceless.

Quips and Cranks and wanton Wiles, Nods and Becks and wreathГЁd Smiles.

Because I am about to be devoured by poodles,” I quip. “Remember me always, my love.

Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

If I have seen further than others, it is because I am surrounded by dwarfs.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don’t notice they’re getting made fun of. So they’ll say something back that’s not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.

For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black’s tweets.

People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions – words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant.

I don’t quite hear what you say, but I beg to differ entirely with you.

Ralph Keyes calls quotation collectors “quotographers,” the men and women who gather catchwords, watchwords, war words, winged words, maxims, mottos, sayings, and quips into books of a thousand pages. Through the centuries quotation collectors have saved quotations that would otherwise be lost.

I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don’t really know where wittiness is constructive.

You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth.

One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. ‘There they are,’ I said. ‘See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.’

Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man’s upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground-floor. But if a man hasn’t got plenty of good common sense, the more science he has, the worse for his patient.

Ser Jaime?” Even in soiled pink satin and torn lace, Brienne looked more like a man in a gown than a proper woman.”I am grateful, but…you were well away. Why come back?” A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. “I dreamed of you,” he said.

I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.

Right at the core, the mainstream has it backwards. Warren Buffett often quips that the first rule of investing is to not lose money, and the second rule is to not forget the first rule. Yet few investors approach the world with such a strict standard of risk avoidance.

If you ask the fish whether they’d rather have an oil spill or a season of fishing, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d vote for another blowout.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male.

Some libs took offense at my David Broder quip earlier. In my own defense, I was taught in college it’s OK to disrespect dead white males.

He [Earl Scruggs] was really cool because he was very quiet, and he wouldn’t say much, but then he would come out with a quip that was like so perfect and so brilliant, very smart.

Radical transparency has an enormous impact on our personal lives. We can no longer share thoughts, quips, photos or personal opinions anywhere on the web without being mindful that they may turn up where we least expect it (notably job interviews, divorce proceedings or public media).

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.

In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon’s defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about the barricades of our revolutions. So, at the assizes of the Last Judgment, there will always be a Frenchmen to crack a joke.

She [Gypsy Rose Lee] was a sophisticated self-satirist with a contagious delight in the comedy of sex. She was coy; she was sly; she always had a witty quip; she had an intensely dramatic presence.