Whiskey Quotes

Whiskey Quotes by Dylan Thomas, Mads Mikkelsen, Toby Keith, John Daly, Lewis Nordan, Ava Gardner and many others.

Seventeen whiskeys. A record, I think.

Seventeen whiskeys. A record, I think.
Dylan Thomas
I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.
Mads Mikkelsen
There ain’t no justice, laws of nature rule this land. Better hide your horses, bury your whiskey.
Toby Keith
I learned you can’t drink whiskey and play golf.
John Daly
There were happy days, with watermelon, and sad days of whiskey.
Lewis Nordan
I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.
Ava Gardner
You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa
I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan
I was glad to see other blues guitarists like Albert King have crossover successes like me. We played in the same places like the Whisky and the Filmore. When Albert made his guitar cry, he could cut you so deep!
B. B. King
Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it’s time to drink.
Haruki Murakami
A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.
Austin O’Malley
Great fury, like great whisky, requires long fermentation.
Truman Capote
I’m drowning in whiskey river.
Willie Nelson
I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record.
Dylan Thomas
When a man spends his relief checks on green whiskey his children have a way of crying from hunger pains.
Harper Lee
I usually keep a bottle of whiskey. I’m not a big drinker, but I feel like it’s important to have.
Rebecca Ward
I will never, ever drink whiskey again. From now on, it’s strictly sherry.
Libba Bray
When I got him out he was near froze solid and shivering. He was shaking so hard that I wasted half a glass of whiskey trying to aim it for his mouth. Must have got enough of it into him, though, since it did seem to bring him back to life.
Abraham Lincoln
Whisky is liquid sunshine.
George Bernard Shaw
whiskey makes the heart beat faster but it sure doesn’t help the mind and isn’t it funny how you can ache just from the deadly drone of existence?
Charles Bukowski
It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
Mark Twain
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” Kynan scrubbed his face. “I could use a double shot of whiskey right now.” “I’m sure Flicka keeps hard liquor behind the bar.” “Flicka?” “I don’t want to say her name.” “So you’re calling her horse names?” Ky coked a dark eyebrow. “I can’t wait to see how she reacts to Mr. Ed.
Larissa Ione
Wild Turkey whiskey and Philip Morris cigarettes are essential to the maintenance of human life!
Herb Kelleher
It is a great paradox and a great injustice that writers write because we fear death and want to leave something indestructible in our wake and, at the same time, are drawn to all the things that kill: whiskey and cigarettes, unprotected sex, and deep-fried burritos.
Ariel Gore
Politicians and music don’t mix. It’s like whiskey and wine.
Kid Rock
I sit here in this chair, I pour myself some whiskey, and watch my troubles vanish into the air.
Randy Newman
When the weather’s rough and it’s whiskey in the rain it’s best to wrap your savior up in cellophane.
Tom Waits
Give me lace and whiskey, Mama’s own remedy.
Alice Cooper
Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer… just the thing for that drunk driver who’s constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I’ve got places to go, people to hit!
Drew Carey
They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.
Casey Stengel
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Artie Lange
I look up the telephone number of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then, my hands shaking, I open the bar and drink the leftover whiskey, gin and vermouth-whatever I can lay my shaking hands on.
John Cheever
That the American, by temperament, worked to excess, was true; work and whiskey were his stimulants; work was a form of vice; but he never cared much for money or power after he earned them.
Henry Adams
The bottle of whiskey – the second one – was now in constant demand by all present, excepting Catherine, who ‘felt just as good on nothing at all.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Mark Twain
A pleasant aperitif, as well as a good chaser for a short quick whiskey, as well again for a fine supper drink, is beer.
M. F. K. Fisher
I make my protein drink with whiskey. People think I’m crazy, but that’s the way I am. I get stoned, I do my own thing.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.
Edgar Allan Poe
I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.
Mads Mikkelsen
They’re a dark people with a gift for suffering way past their deserving. It’s said that without whiskey to soak and soften the world, they’d kill themselves. (Irish)
John Steinbeck
You can’t find the answers on the bottom of a whiskey glass, but if you look hard enough you’ll forget the questions.
George Patterson
Some of us look for the Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
W. Somerset Maugham
There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing.
H. L. Mencken
You know what southern women are? Whiskey in a teacup. We’re strong in the inside, but ornate on the outside.
Hannah Brown
Whiskey and beer are all right in their place, but their place is in hell.
Billy Sunday
I only drink wine, beer, and champagne. I’ve never had hard liquor, I’ve never had a whiskey drink in my life. I just don’t like it.
Zoya Akhtar
I have found that whiskey is enjoyed as a refined secret pleasure in many cities – and it appears to be popular in Pakistan, as it is all over the tropical Asian world, Muslim or non-Muslim.
Lawrence Osborne
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.
Bill Murray
God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
Kinky Friedman
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart
I’ll tell you the truth; I had a double brandy before the game but, before, it used to be four bottles of whisky. Not any more. I was fine. I had a glass of wine after the game. But it was just a mouthful.
Paul Gascoigne
the psyche has been burned and left us senseless, the world has been darker than lights-out in a closet full of hungry bats, and the whiskey and wine entered our veins when blood was too weak to carry on
Charles Bukowski
An appreciation of prose is learned, not instinctive. It is an acquired taste, like Scotch whisky.
Abigail Padgett
I drink this [whiskey glass] and I’m just another JBL? you don’t get it, I’m not like you. I’m not JBL, I’m CM Punk! Sometimes it’s what you don’t do that makes you who you are.
CM Punk
Hormones were as potent as whiskey, and twice as sneaky.
Linda Howard
It’s a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace, and a wound that will never heal. No prima donna, the perfume is on an old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey. Goodnight to the street sweepers, the night watchmen flame keepers and goodnight, Matilda, too.
Tom Waits
Stories, like whiskey, must be allowed to mature in the cask.
Sean O Faolain
I don’t eat shellfish. I drink wine moderately and have one whiskey every evening before dinner.
Norman Lloyd
Crooked cards and straight whiskey, Slow horses and fast women.
Kenneth Rexroth
Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
Ambrose Bierce
Ya think that the whiskey tastes good? Try a big cup of sobriety – now that is the good stuff!
Steven Tyler
Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.
Craig Ferguson
Champagne’s funny stuff. I’m used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne’s a heavy mist before my eyes.
James Stewart
…I was tired of men. Hanging in doorways, standing too close, their smell of beer or fifteen-year-old whiskey. Men who didn’t come to the emergency room with you, men who left on Christmas Eve. Men who slammed the security gates, who made you love them and then changed their minds.
Janet Fitch
Inspiring bold JohnBarleycorn! What dangers thou canst make us scorn! Wi’ usquebae, we’ll face the devil!
Robert Burns
An old stomach reforms more whiskey drinkers than a new resolve.
Don Marquis
Fortunately, an extremely sexy, pixie-voiced blond named Ronnie Harran, who booked the Whisky, saw us…She had an ear for talent…the Whisky was finally a gig we could be proud of.
John Densmore
A loss of any kind is horrible. Not because it takes away, but because it makes you believe- in newspapers, in tomatoes, in empty whiskey bottles.
Anosh Irani
Yes, it’s true I once knocked out a horse. It was at a fiesta in my mother’s home town of Guarare. Someone bet me a bottle of whiskey that I couldn’t do it
Roberto Duran
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
Ed McMahon
Sometimes the Bible in the hands of one man is worse than a whiskey bottle in the hands of another.
Harper Lee
Your bird drinks whiskey and eats tobacco?” The old man frowned.”Just be lad he doesn’t like eatin’ scrawny boys that don’t know their way ’round the Otherworld.
Kami Garcia
For a southern belle, my grandmother was remarkably modern. She threw my grandfather out, for one thing – some kind of argument about bourbon whiskey – shortly after the birth of their third child, and then went back to school to get herself a teaching certificate.
Preston Sturges
Between his eyes, there were four lines, the marks of such misery as children should never feel. He spoke with that wonderful whisky voice that so many Spanish children have, and he was a tough and entire little boy.
Martha Gellhorn
Someone told me once that blues is like whiskey. They keep whiskey in the barrel for so many years, and then they talk about how well it’s aged. But I don’t think that goes for him. I think this young man has just stepped in there sayin’, ‘I’m gonna prove you all wrong.’ I think he’s like a watermelon, man. He’s ripe.
Buddy Guy
Coffee, whiskey, and fishing poles. That’s really all you need in life.
Brandi Carlile
I’m not very geeky. I’m quite homespun. I would say I’m more modern rustic than gadget-orientated. I like woollen things and log fires and whiskey
Benedict Cumberbatch
You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer, good cigars, and ancient whiskey – the sacred incense of the drinking man.
Bruce Aidells
I drink a lot of everything; beer while watching football. I have a taste for whiskey, but Jack Daniels and ginger is about as fancy as it gets with me.
Jeff Gannon
He liked to read with the silence and the golden color of the whiskey as his companions. He liked food, people, talk, but reading was an inexhaustible pleasure. What the joys of music were to others, words on a page were to him.
James Salter
For whatever reason, I encounter Canadian whiskey at hunting camps way more often than I do in restaurants, bars, or homes. Could be the lower price. Could be the mellow character, which lends itself to long hours of fireside sipping. Or it could just be tradition.
Jonathan Miles
[I normally go-to] whiskey on the rocks. Or a beer. Or with dinner, a glass of white wine.
Scott Eastwood
The privileged classes can afford psychoanalysis and whiskey. Whereas all we get is sermons and sour wine. This is manifestly unfair. I protest, silently.
Donald Barthelme
Somewhere back a whiskey or so ago I wrote that thinking was a real thing in the world, just like anything else. I mean that very literally, materially. And it’s true about poems, too.
Matthew Zapruder
Don’t you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
Ernest Hemingway
New York: Prison towers and modern posters for soap and whiskey. Pittsburgh: Abandon it.
Frank Lloyd Wright
My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.
Igor Stravinsky
After the week at the Fillmore we flew down to L.A. to hang out and pick up whatever gigs we could. We did a gig in Santa Barbara on July 1st and then the next night we opened for Sam & Dave at the Whisky.
Mitch Mitchell
Whiskey claims to itself alone the exclusive office of sot-making.
Thomas Jefferson
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde
Chris Hillman (of the Byrds) recounts…’What happened to the Buffulo Springfield at the Whisky was similar to what happened to us at Ciro’s…everybody wanted to be there. It became the place to be…a great gig.’
Johnny Rogan
Y’all drinking whiskey is probably a gregarious act. When you’re not an alcoholic it’s pretty fun to drink whiskey. But when you are it’s a very solo ritual. It’s not gregarious at all. But vice has always informed country music and all music.
Ketch Secor
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
“Uisce Beatha” is a compounded distilled spirit being drawn on aromatics, and the Irish sort is particularly distinguished for its pleasant and mild flavour.
Samuel Johnson
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
Ron White
I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.
Dean Martin
I’ve got friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away.
Garth Brooks
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
We partied with the royal rich people, and we felt like rock stars. We drank all the whiskey in the place.
Charles Kelley
In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn’t addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
You pretty much can’t get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you’d be good to go.
Hillary Scott
Hey! Shouts Camel. There ain’t no woman in the world worth two bottles of whiskey!
Sara Gruen
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
We got more provisions for our whiskey than the same money, which we paid for the liquor, would have bought; so after all it proved a very profitable investment.
Buffalo Bill
It was just so in the American Revolution, in 1776, the first delicacy the men threw overboard in Boston harbor was the tea, woman’s favorite beverage. The tobacco and whiskey, though heavily taxed, they clung to with the tenacity of the devil-fish.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Wilhelm II
Yes, it’s true I once knocked out a horse. It was at a fiesta in my mother’s home town of Guarare. Someone bet me a bottle of whiskey that I couldn’t do it.
Roberto Duran
Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
Phyllis Diller
I read a little bit of nonfiction and a lot of poetry. I think of poetry as my shot of whiskey when I don’t have time to savor a whole bottle of wine.
Alice McDermott
It is true that whisky improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.
Ronnie Corbett
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.
Mark Twain
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H. L. Mencken
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I’m thirsty, not dirty.
Joe E. Lewis
The federal government cannot maintain a budget surplus any more than an alcoholic can leave a fresh bottle of whiskey untouched in the cupboard.
Ron Paul
The giant imaginary bottle of whiskey is with me.
My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.
Rodney Dangerfield
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
My dad was a real working musician in the late ’70s and early ’80s. He had a band that was signed to Elektra/Asylum and they would perform at like Madame Wong’s and Whiskey A Go Go all the time.
Weyes Blood
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
Robert E. Lee
If I’d just paid money to watch a soccer game, I’d want to kill someone too (once the buzz wore off and I realized where I was, because the only thing that would make me pay to watch a soccer game is perhaps a half gallon of whiskey).
Tom O’Brien
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
For God’s sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country.
Reginald Maudling
Whiskey don’t make liars
it just makes fools.
James McMurtry
Awesome! I’d just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn’t care. We ordered the insanely expensive stuff, seventy-five dollars for a 1.75-ounce pour of premium Irish whiskey, because if you’re doing a shot with Jesus, you don’t buy him scotch.
Kevin Hearne
It ain’t that you get religion. Religion gets you and then milks you dry. Won’t let you drink a little whiskey. Won’t let you make no fat-assed girls grin and giggle. Won’t let you do a damn thing except work for what you’ll get in the hearafter. I live in the here and now.
Dorothy Allison
I feel like when I arrive at the hospital I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back. And, I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat…
Kristen Bell
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
Mark Twain
I contented myself with whiskey, for medicinal purposes. It helped numb my various aches and pains. Not that the alcohol actually reduced the pain; it just gave the pain a life of its own, apart from mine.
Haruki Murakami
It’s Faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money.
Tom T. Hall
A Christian might drink only ginger ale at the tavern bar, but there he is already on the way to drinking beer and whiskey. The girl who attends a ball but never dances a step, will soon surrender her body to the lustful embrace of every casual male acquaintance as other dancers do.
John R. Rice
If you can’t drink a lobbyist’s whiskey, take his money, sleep with his women and still vote against him in the morning, you don’t belong in politics.
Brian Redman
Every article I see is dope this, junkie that, whiskey this – that ain’t my title.
Layne Staley
I’ve been on the whisky diet – I’ve already lost three days!
Tommy Cooper
You see a guy with one leg, he’s got a story. “Land mine ’69.” You see a guy with one arm, he’s got a story, too. “Snow blower, bottle of whiskey.” You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? “Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy.”
Dave Attell
Come, let me know what it is that makes a Scotch man happy!
Samuel Johnson
When I was a young reporter, the great vice among journalists was whiskey. Today, it’s cynicism.
Paul Simon
Suggested remedy for the common cold: A good gulp of whiskey at bedtime-it’s not very scientific, but it helps.
Alexander Fleming
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
Brian O’Rourke
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
William Butler Yeats
My life was once whiskey, tears and cigarettes… now it’s snot, tears and a color of poop. Bliss. I do miss the whiskey, though.
Black coffee’s a lot like whiskey, you know? All devil and no trimmin’s. Always liked my sins pure and take it as it comes.
Jack Ketchum
Whiskey just naturally likes me but beer likes me better.
Langston Hughes
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
Vodka is a wonderful drink. You can drink so much of it without being as hung over as you would if you were drinking one of the brown liquors – the whiskeys and such. It’s a great drink to go with appetizers.
Gary Shteyngart
Drugs, cataplasms, and whiskey are stupid substitutes for the dignity and potency of divine mind and its efficacy to heal.
Mary Baker Eddy
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.
William Faulkner
I get whiskey bent and hell bound.
Hank Williams, Jr.
I love whiskey and haggis. I can’t get enough of either.
Kevin McKidd
Unless he had whiskey running through his veins, Willard came to the clearing every morning and evening to talk to God. Arvin didn’t know which was worse, the drinking or the praying. As far back as he could remember, it seemed that his father had fought the Devil all the time.
Donald Ray Pollock
Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.
Johnny Carson
Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.
Compton Mackenzie
I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.
H. L. Mencken
The first time I lose I drink whiskey, second time I lose I drink gin. Third time I lose I drink anything ’cause I think I’m gonna win.
Gram Parsons